I could not agree more, Trumpy. However, after the last two days of, to quote my hero Jon Stewart (you wouldn't like him), this utter CLUSTERFUCK you've made of this trip, tonight's presser did not really enlighten, me, CNN correspondents, BBC correspondents, or the general public.
Let's take a moment to review what was said. All quotes directly attributed to Donald Trump, as broadcast by every major news network in the western world. (Oh, hang on. Are we ALL Fake News?)
We started the diatribe with a clearly off-message self-congratulatory pat on the back about his amazing work with getting more money out of NATO. NOT THE BRIEF.
Then went on to call our Queen "a terrific person" who he "walked with" at Windsor. You didn't. You broke Royal protocol and walked ahead of her until she pulled you back. FAKE NEWS.
And then we get to why we are here.
"(The) most successful visit...was Russia."
On to the prepared speech, as I can imagine Huckabee Sanders was shooting absolute side eye by this point.
"(I have) full faith in (the US) intelligence agencies...I accept (Russia meddled in our election process)."
"(We have) a need for some clarification".
This is my personal fave:
"I said the word 'would' instead of 'wouldn't'". Um. Huh?
We then move into the free text part of the speech where the usual rhetoric is trotted out; Obama, Hillary, oh did you know he won 2016?
I'm not even going to address what he is quoted as saying about discussing Syria. If you did, show strength, and mention it at the time. You didn't.
Oh yeah, no collusion, a number of times as well. Hand-written in Sharpie on your notes. We've picked up that's what you think. About two years ago.
Today, unfortunately for you, you've made this worse for yourself. You have come across as a weak leader, who doesn't understand years of international policy that has come before you, and have tried to reduce your entire term of office to a reality television show.
What do we expect to come from this? Well, as we are completely through the looking glass now, probably nothing. The man is Teflon. I've never seen anything like this in my many years of life. It doesn't make it right, but it is certainly indicative of the fact that certain groups of people are being fed by the celebrity status he asserts onto the average person. Those average people, in middle America - and other parts - are just those people he directly targeted during his election run.
Let me make a cry in the dark to you. Please. Please, look at the facts as they present themselves. It is not a crime to support Trump. What does let you down, though, is using your right to vote and wasting it based on an ill-informed opinion.
You have a chance to make a stand in the next few months. Register to vote and make your voice heard. Whichever way it goes. So long as it's informed and something you can live with if this all starts going horribly wrong.
Tuesday 17 July 2018
Saturday 14 July 2018
STILL DAY SIX. I AM RETIRING FOR ONE DAY BECAUSE A SICK PERSON CAN NOT DO THIS ALL THE TIME.
Proof.
You win, Trump. I look worse than ever but that is down to my journalistic capabilities. You see I'm writing this at 11pm? Fuck me, that's nothing.
I'm having a WELL DESERVED DAY OFF tomorrow. I am going to be all over your arse on Monday with Putin, my friend.
Let me sleep now. You absolute disgrace to the Presidency of the US.
PS Let Eric out of the cage. Some sunlight might do him some good. YES I WENT THERE.
You win, Trump. I look worse than ever but that is down to my journalistic capabilities. You see I'm writing this at 11pm? Fuck me, that's nothing.
I'm having a WELL DESERVED DAY OFF tomorrow. I am going to be all over your arse on Monday with Putin, my friend.
Let me sleep now. You absolute disgrace to the Presidency of the US.
PS Let Eric out of the cage. Some sunlight might do him some good. YES I WENT THERE.
DEAR GOD, IT IS DAY SIX AND SOMEONE KILL ME NOW
Ideally, I wanted to post a couple of pictures of kids, who spoke eloquently in Scotland today about their dislike for the POTUS. My husband I and I broke into spontaneous applause after the first kid said his bit. SO beyond his years, and clearly not coached. The second one was on the picket line (as was the first, to be fair) on the beach at Aberdeen right by the police cordon. The second the second kid saw you know who, he started playing the bagpipes at top volume. I SALUTE YOU BOTH, SIRS.
Not that one above. I'm not posting pictures of innocent kids on a social media site. I have something called morals.
I've written down a load of quotes and accreditations I could use tonight. I don't feel like it. This week has bloody broken me into a tiny shell of a human. I don't fancy doing a heavy piece tonight, as I think we've had enough of that over the last few days. We have less that 24 hours before he goes to Helsinki and destroys us all further with his absolute, obvious dedication to Putin. Look, I don't know if that stupid sex tape thing is just a vile rumour, but I can tell you this one thing. Sit on your hands about this one, peeps.
Special Counsel Bob Mueller indicted - INDICTED - 12 Russian intel officers for interfering in the Clinton campaign. Trump knew about this happening earlier this week. Not complicit? Okay.
Here's my source. TOTES FAKE, right?
I've mentioned this before, POTUS, but quite frankly as an American born citizen you will have to find some bloody good dirt on me to shut me up. And THERE AIN'T. Please just go away and stop upsetting everyone.
Everything I have said today has a source. It's not Fake News. It's, you know, news. Oh, here's some accreditation for your interest. It's from your favourite news source, Fox News.
Enjoy.
Not that one above. I'm not posting pictures of innocent kids on a social media site. I have something called morals.
I've written down a load of quotes and accreditations I could use tonight. I don't feel like it. This week has bloody broken me into a tiny shell of a human. I don't fancy doing a heavy piece tonight, as I think we've had enough of that over the last few days. We have less that 24 hours before he goes to Helsinki and destroys us all further with his absolute, obvious dedication to Putin. Look, I don't know if that stupid sex tape thing is just a vile rumour, but I can tell you this one thing. Sit on your hands about this one, peeps.
Special Counsel Bob Mueller indicted - INDICTED - 12 Russian intel officers for interfering in the Clinton campaign. Trump knew about this happening earlier this week. Not complicit? Okay.
Here's my source. TOTES FAKE, right?
Soz for the long link, but you know, I have little time left.
Everything I have said today has a source. It's not Fake News. It's, you know, news. Oh, here's some accreditation for your interest. It's from your favourite news source, Fox News.
Enjoy.
PS It will always end up in a heavy piece. We're up shit creek.
Friday 13 July 2018
TRUMP VISIT: DAY BARELY SIX
I really wanted to bat this one over to Scotland for the rest of the trip. I am having a difficult time, and this has been hard. But as husband reminded me, I committed to this and he's still in the UK for a couple of days. So...
I'll see you tomorrow.
I'll see you tomorrow.
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| copyright: The Daily Show |
TRUMP VISIT: DAY FIVE. JULY 13 - THE DAY OF RECKONING.
Dear lord, I am exhausted by this.
I am also elated. Elated, at the sight of all my fellow supporters of rights for women, LGBTQI+ rights, disability rights, and you know, just rights of normal people who don't deserve to have their children snatched from them when they are seeking asylum.
I don't wish to focus on what the orange faced buffoon did today. It's unimportant now. What is important is that we have a voice, and we weren't listened to by our Government. Key issue: one T. May.
Do not hold his hand because he's "scared of stairs". He's bloody not. He uses that tactic to subjugate you.
And you fell for it. Nicey nicey. Do you really think that he's going to give two shits in a Handmaid's angel wings if we end up in a war the US aren't involved in? Wake up, sister. You had the chance to pull a Hugh Grant today, and you let the sisterhood down.
Now let me tell you who FUCKING DIDN'T.
I am also elated. Elated, at the sight of all my fellow supporters of rights for women, LGBTQI+ rights, disability rights, and you know, just rights of normal people who don't deserve to have their children snatched from them when they are seeking asylum.
I don't wish to focus on what the orange faced buffoon did today. It's unimportant now. What is important is that we have a voice, and we weren't listened to by our Government. Key issue: one T. May.
Do not hold his hand because he's "scared of stairs". He's bloody not. He uses that tactic to subjugate you.
And you fell for it. Nicey nicey. Do you really think that he's going to give two shits in a Handmaid's angel wings if we end up in a war the US aren't involved in? Wake up, sister. You had the chance to pull a Hugh Grant today, and you let the sisterhood down.
Now let me tell you who FUCKING DIDN'T.
 |
| copyright Michelle Brook |
 |
| copyright Michelle Brook |
 |
| copyright Caroline Lee |
You know what? I am so FUCKING PROUD of everything you have all done today. When you feel like all is lost - when that stupid Sun "exclusive" shows up and demeans the UK and her PM, and she PANDERS to him, it's women like all the wonderful marchers today that make me feel a little bit of hope is left in the world.
Look, I could be totally wrong. But there have been zero news reports of any disruption, violence or general march scariness. I couldn't go, as, well, I can't stand up. And I was heartbroken. But I wore my "Make Donald Drumpf Again" hat all day and spent some time yelling at people who didn't even know what was going on. I shouldn't yell. But apparently you have to, sometimes, to just be heard.
I am not a man-hater. By ANY MEANS. I just choose to associate with any species of being that allow me to be myself, and whom do not put me down for being different, on any number of levels. This isn't a male vs female debate. It's a dictatorship over democracy debate. But I feel like I've been let down by the head of our country by what I feel was brushing over the subject completely because she - let's face it - looks like she's intimidated by him.
These women above? And me? We're not. Come meet me, Donny. Have a light chat. Make fun of my disability to my face. Then we will see who is wearing the pants in this relationship.
Also. Mate. Gotta give you a heads up, yeah? The total number of people who turned up to protest about you today was WAY more than your inauguration "crowd". Hashtag #soznotsoz.
(Ed: number is now called at 250,000 people. Also, I am the Ed.)
Please now just leave me in peace and allow me to regain some sanity. Although I suspect that will be a long time coming.
In closing, I would like to thank some key women in my life for representin' on my behalf today. Sophie, Michelle and Caroline - never let the fuckers get you down.
Love to all. Signing off.
|
Thursday 12 July 2018
TRUMP VISIT: DAY FOUR
Sightings. SO MANY FUCKING SIGHTINGS.
May I start this piece, which will be more journalistic than usual, by leaving this here as a taster.
Childish Gambino - This is America
Now. I hope you've done your homework of listening. This is the shitfight we are currently in.
A light intro, before the HARD NEWS begins. This afternoon, Donald J. Trump and his complicit wife flew over my house. Without a word between us, husband and I threw ourselves onto the balcony and started yelling "WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE! GO HOME!". And I understood what it felt to be a Trump supporter. And it felt horrible. I feel he may have seen us sending the V signs as his flunkies then flew over our house for the following two hours. I'm not a terrorist, Donny. I'm an AMERICAN CITIZEN AND I CALL THE FIRST AMENDMENT ON YOUR ARSE.
Now. The news. God, this is actually destroying my soul.
CNN (Fake News, right?), published a poll today. OK, we all know polls are skewed. You can't interview every person with every single opinion in the country - and they certainly didn't interview me - but 44% of Americans have said Obama was the best President of their lifetime. Followed by Bill Clinton at 33%, and Reagan at 32%. Like, the actor with the monkey or something. Trump is screaming into oblivity with 19%.
"The polls love me, look at the polls" - Donald Trump, every rally he's ever attended.
There is unconscious bias in polls. For example, millennials will not have recognised Reagan as a President as they basically weren't alive. Obama was the focal point of their political life, and that's not their fault, but they certainly weren't around when Clinton was going through impeachment due to the Lewinsky scandal. One of the charges was, ironically, obstruction of justice. So, we must keep in mind that there are always subconscious biases that come through in these polls. If you would like to like to look at this poll in further detail, the link is NOT here, as it broke my blog. I shall post it on my Twitter.
Let's look at the facts as they stand, from sources, rather than my opinion.
Trump wants to build a new golf course in Aberdeenshire, which has been promised to build new homes and help the community. It would appear that is not the case.
The ITV program Tonight, interviewed a lot of people living there today. Some of them were in the process of writing "RESIST" in the sand, hoping the POTUS would see it in a fly past. Cllr Martin Ford of the area said, "Mr. Trump establishes an alternative set of facts by repetition."
Alex Salmond, former First Minister of Scotland, went on to say, "He regards himself as the greatest dealmaker of all time.".
And surprisingly, or perhaps not considering his animosity with Piers Morgan (we all know the story guys), Alan Sugar said, "He has to understand (The EU) is a bigger market than you...He doesn't think what's best for the rest of the world.".
And then Sean Spicer - you remember him? The Press Secretary for the White House that couldn't find matching shoes to wear during a press briefing - gave this missive regarding a book he has contributed to; "(He is) a unicorn, riding a unicorn, over a rainbow.". Well, that has certainly cleared things right up. (Source: The Guardian).
I think if you're even reading this, we are probably on the same page. I fully support any person's right to protest for or against, so long as it's not violent or short-sighted. Have the facts to hand before you make your decision. And also, if you want to call me FAKE NEWS, I would wear it as a badge of honour.
Your move, Drumpf.
May I start this piece, which will be more journalistic than usual, by leaving this here as a taster.
Childish Gambino - This is America
Now. I hope you've done your homework of listening. This is the shitfight we are currently in.
A light intro, before the HARD NEWS begins. This afternoon, Donald J. Trump and his complicit wife flew over my house. Without a word between us, husband and I threw ourselves onto the balcony and started yelling "WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE! GO HOME!". And I understood what it felt to be a Trump supporter. And it felt horrible. I feel he may have seen us sending the V signs as his flunkies then flew over our house for the following two hours. I'm not a terrorist, Donny. I'm an AMERICAN CITIZEN AND I CALL THE FIRST AMENDMENT ON YOUR ARSE.
Now. The news. God, this is actually destroying my soul.
CNN (Fake News, right?), published a poll today. OK, we all know polls are skewed. You can't interview every person with every single opinion in the country - and they certainly didn't interview me - but 44% of Americans have said Obama was the best President of their lifetime. Followed by Bill Clinton at 33%, and Reagan at 32%. Like, the actor with the monkey or something. Trump is screaming into oblivity with 19%.
"The polls love me, look at the polls" - Donald Trump, every rally he's ever attended.
There is unconscious bias in polls. For example, millennials will not have recognised Reagan as a President as they basically weren't alive. Obama was the focal point of their political life, and that's not their fault, but they certainly weren't around when Clinton was going through impeachment due to the Lewinsky scandal. One of the charges was, ironically, obstruction of justice. So, we must keep in mind that there are always subconscious biases that come through in these polls. If you would like to like to look at this poll in further detail, the link is NOT here, as it broke my blog. I shall post it on my Twitter.
Let's look at the facts as they stand, from sources, rather than my opinion.
Trump wants to build a new golf course in Aberdeenshire, which has been promised to build new homes and help the community. It would appear that is not the case.
The ITV program Tonight, interviewed a lot of people living there today. Some of them were in the process of writing "RESIST" in the sand, hoping the POTUS would see it in a fly past. Cllr Martin Ford of the area said, "Mr. Trump establishes an alternative set of facts by repetition."
Alex Salmond, former First Minister of Scotland, went on to say, "He regards himself as the greatest dealmaker of all time.".
And surprisingly, or perhaps not considering his animosity with Piers Morgan (we all know the story guys), Alan Sugar said, "He has to understand (The EU) is a bigger market than you...He doesn't think what's best for the rest of the world.".
And then Sean Spicer - you remember him? The Press Secretary for the White House that couldn't find matching shoes to wear during a press briefing - gave this missive regarding a book he has contributed to; "(He is) a unicorn, riding a unicorn, over a rainbow.". Well, that has certainly cleared things right up. (Source: The Guardian).
I think if you're even reading this, we are probably on the same page. I fully support any person's right to protest for or against, so long as it's not violent or short-sighted. Have the facts to hand before you make your decision. And also, if you want to call me FAKE NEWS, I would wear it as a badge of honour.
Your move, Drumpf.
Wednesday 11 July 2018
TRUMP VISIT:DAY THREE
Sighting. Albeit on the news slagging off NATO which, personally, I find INCREDIBLY helpful in a meaningful dialogue. You giant head of ego. Seriously, you should see someone.
You use the word "egregious" a lot. I would like, may I, to request one thing. Can you explain the definition of egregious? Or, for that matter. "delinquent"?
I suspect not somehow, but I will eat my hat if you are able to do it without an advisor stood next to you with a dictionary and a thesaurus whispering in your ear.
International relations is not easy. Okay. so I may have wagged all my International Relations classes when I was 17, but I'm not the Pres. I found it boring. Trade, trade, trade, tax, blah blah blah. I know it's SUPER important, please don't get me wrong, but at 17, when a big wide world is opening up to you, you just want to take a fake ID and hang out watching your favourite bands. I still got As on my exams. Doubt SillyHead would.
Friends, it's been difficult day. England have gone out. I was more upset about Australia but there you go. We must show solidarity and that we will not let women be subjugated by this sex pest (quote: BBC Panorama - can't sue). I shall enjoy the blimp as it flies itself. God, there are some LOLs there no?
Safe passage into the night all.
You use the word "egregious" a lot. I would like, may I, to request one thing. Can you explain the definition of egregious? Or, for that matter. "delinquent"?
I suspect not somehow, but I will eat my hat if you are able to do it without an advisor stood next to you with a dictionary and a thesaurus whispering in your ear.
International relations is not easy. Okay. so I may have wagged all my International Relations classes when I was 17, but I'm not the Pres. I found it boring. Trade, trade, trade, tax, blah blah blah. I know it's SUPER important, please don't get me wrong, but at 17, when a big wide world is opening up to you, you just want to take a fake ID and hang out watching your favourite bands. I still got As on my exams. Doubt SillyHead would.
Friends, it's been difficult day. England have gone out. I was more upset about Australia but there you go. We must show solidarity and that we will not let women be subjugated by this sex pest (quote: BBC Panorama - can't sue). I shall enjoy the blimp as it flies itself. God, there are some LOLs there no?
Safe passage into the night all.
Tuesday 10 July 2018
TRUMP WEEK: DAY TWO
No sighting as yet.
Many documentaries watched. Still fairly convinced this dude is not a hot option right now. Anyone seen Obama recently? I feel like he's kinda free right now, and I am super tired of screaming his name in my sleep; similar to Atreyu.
So, slight self-important post. I was lucky enough to be interviewed by the Beyond Bechdel podcast. I know, right? But apparently according to the host I am reasonably entertaining. So I shall leave this link here "just in case" you're bored, or need to listen to an Australian.
Love to all. x
PS. So it would seem I am unable to put a working link on this. Which is what you're disabled and literally smashing keys to hope something is spelled right. Please look at @courtneyishere on Twitter for the URL. Sorry. Must stop saying sorry. Sorry about that.
PPS It's worth it.
Many documentaries watched. Still fairly convinced this dude is not a hot option right now. Anyone seen Obama recently? I feel like he's kinda free right now, and I am super tired of screaming his name in my sleep; similar to Atreyu.
So, slight self-important post. I was lucky enough to be interviewed by the Beyond Bechdel podcast. I know, right? But apparently according to the host I am reasonably entertaining. So I shall leave this link here "just in case" you're bored, or need to listen to an Australian.
Love to all. x
PS. So it would seem I am unable to put a working link on this. Which is what you're disabled and literally smashing keys to hope something is spelled right. Please look at @courtneyishere on Twitter for the URL. Sorry. Must stop saying sorry. Sorry about that.
PPS It's worth it.
Monday 9 July 2018
TRUMP WEEK: IN BRTAAAAAIN
Well, we're all a bit excited aren't we? Goodness me, England is through to the semi-final of the World Cup football tournament and Trumpy is through to Mrs May. Good luck there son.
I shall be covering the Trump visit to Britain over the next few days with my usual caustic wit, and general malaise. Enjoy, as you watch the world go to absolute, fucking ruin; with my hilarious, disease ridden commentary
.
I shall be covering the Trump visit to Britain over the next few days with my usual caustic wit, and general malaise. Enjoy, as you watch the world go to absolute, fucking ruin; with my hilarious, disease ridden commentary
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