WHY THE OSCARS WERE SHIT

Number one. Get Out got one award. One. It is one of the most groundbreaking and politically important films OF OUR TIME.

Okay, so yes, I have "strong feelings" for Daniel Kaluuya. Yes, I may have followed him around a film set one day, too scared to talk to him, but hoping he would catch my eye and chat. He didn't, because, you know, he's Daniel Kaluuya. Dude was filming some shit, Not worrying about the doe-eyed shrimp behind him, like a shadow, for a good fifteen minutes, until I realised this was starting to look all a bit creepy and went back to where I was meant to be sat. Oh yeah. I wasn't in the program they were filming. Totally crashed that party.



I just feel like it was, you know, back to normal. With the exception of JORDAN PEELE (I feel that really needs caps lock at this point), it was very staid. Middle aged white men got their awards. Frances did a nice speech and then some dude nicked her statue. (She got it back.) It felt like there would be something shifting this year, and instead it remains, as always, utterly predictable. And also 1700 hours long.

The one saving grace for me was the dudes out of Hollyoaks - Hollyoaks my friends - creating a beautiful film starring a profoundly deaf girl called Maisie, The writer signed the speech. That's all it takes, a bit of understated yet truly honest emotion. The kid was delighted and apparently then asked if she could go play with her siblings. Hats off, Maisie.